Friday, January 15, 2016

"By the way just so you know. Always, everyday, this is how I feel."

Pain has me rattled to my core. Depression has taken a hold... This poem sums it up perfectly. Written by me obviously...

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Been too long...

I hate that I've been away for what seems like years. Well it has been!!! The last post was all about insomnia. There was a reason I was such a severe insomniac?!?! I WAS PREGNANT!!!  I quit smoking, lost a lot of weight & was the healthiest I've ever been.
Now more than 2 years later I'm a mother to a beautiful little girl named Gracyn. Gained all my weight back & back into the throws of chronic pain.
Pregnancy was great to me. About 16 weeks in my migraines stopped & didn't return until 2 weeks postpartum. Even while nursing, I still got the Migraines back!!! Ugh
Motherhood, with Chronic illness' hasn't been easy. I struggle to make it through each day. I fight with my body to do the "normal" things that need to be done. Diapers, playing with a rambunctious toddler, keeping the house in a maintainable state. You know, motherhood stuff.
I wanted to slowly ease myself back into this & let you all know, I'm a alive. As much as I can be...
Be well

Sunday, January 3, 2016


Today is the 4th week that I have been dealing with the most horrendous, unrelenting insomnia I've EVER had. Usually by now it lets up, but as of now (obviously) it isn't.
I have never had to go to my primary care physician & ask for help, but last Monday I did. Within that week I was on 3 DIFFERENT medications!!! (Ambien, Hydroxine & Klonopin) As you can probably guess, NONE of them have helped.
The only thing that I found to help is getting out of the house & physically excerting myself to the point that my body is killing me & begging for me to stop. Which isn't saying much, becuase my body always feels like that with the Fibromyalgia kicking my butt everyday. The day I did exhaust myself was Saturday. My Hubby & I walked for what seemed like miles. All around different stores, up & down every blasted isle....

I can say that it helped me sleep, but not being able to walk due to the immense pain of my body & head pains, is PURE TORTURE!!!

I guess I'll just have to wait this out & see what happens... I can't push myself any farther & be in constant pain. (More than I am ususally)