I asked myself the other day, what used to make me happy? Well my responses were short & I only came up with 2; crocheting & blogging. So a couple weeks ago, I started a crochet binge. Within 10 days I made 3 sock monkeys, a small animal (which I cannot name due to the fact that its a gift) bibs, baby hats, and a pillow pet. Now that I'm happy with my progress with that I knew deep down inside I HAD to start doing my blogging again. So here I am, & please bear w/ me. I have so much to say & my mind is very scattered. So if this comes out very un-organized I'm sorry....
I really can't honestly believe I haven't posted in soo long!! I guess my crappy life caught up with me, & depression took its toll. It sucked me in like a black hole, swallowing me in its entirety. It has been a real struggle trying to release its endless grasp, but today I have poked my head out. Trying to get back to my so-called "normal" life. I haven't seen my true self in over 2 long years!! Today is the beginning of a whole new adventure...
Life has REALLY changed. Still in A LOT of pain. Every single day, w/ no end in sight.Not only do I suffer from the clusters, I also get chronic tension headaches, & trigeminal neuralgia. Trigeminal neuralgia is a nerve disorder that causes a stabbing or electric-shock-like pain in parts of the face. (& overall annoyance!!) I haven't had a pain free day since June 22, 2010. That's quite a loooonnnnggg time to be in constant pain, whether it be all day or half the day! Does anyone else see something wrong with this?! Apparently my doctor isn't too concerned w/ it. "It's all normal for a chronic pain patient to develop more pain". SERIOUSLY?! Not only are my headaches getting worse, but so are my death rates. Aneurysm, heart disease, blood clots... SHEESSHHH!!
I'm still married to the best husband, and still have my little old ladies, Nina & Fudge. We have moved again, this time to a small cottage on a lake! It's peaceful, secluded, and everything I've always wanted!! I can honestly say it's wonderful here. Soothes me with it's views, & quietness.
On the harsher side of things, I'm sick & overall disgusted with doctors & their throwing pills down my throat. They don't want to seem to get the the root of the issue (like what's causing the constant pain) they just want to treat the clusters. Well I'm sorry, you try being me & see how you feel after a week!! I know I have to keep up w/ @ doctor for disability reasons, so I've only been to my general care. She's awesome, but has run out of ideas on how to treat me. Which is understandable, 80 medications is A LOT!! So even though I hate to admit it, sometime down the line (summer) I'm going to have to suck it up, & see a neurologist or a pain specialist just to keep those @ NYS disability happy...
I guess that's all for now. I'm sorry to all that followed this, & I haven't been around. I completely understand if you don't want to anymore... Oh! By the way, my MRI was deemed "un-helpful". It did show my pituitary glad was "enlarged ", but not enough to cause any harm to me, or cause any headaches!! I was so looking forward to that being my diagnosis, but to no avail, I got shot down AGAIN!! Until next time all...
K8 =]
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