Thursday, August 9, 2012


OK, I need to vent. I need to complain. I need to whine. Whatever it's called I need to do some & have my fair share of it!

I don't know about you but when I get insanely depressed, (nice joke there huh?) there is this one thought that keeps getting tossed around in my brain. "What is my purpose in life?" I keep throwing this around & all I can come up with are the negatives...

To be in pain.
To be one of the faceless millions suffering around the world.
To not have a life.
To be on disability.
To be invisible.
To be stuck on the couch or bed all day writhing in pain.
To not have any medications that will even help me.
To be ridiculed by other's.
To be the butt of other's jokes.
To be the party pooper.
To be plagued with emotions I can't handle.
To be a burden.
To be a shell of my former self.
To be isolated.

Those are just a few of the many! In a nut shell my life utterly & completely sucks!!

So much for stopping the self berating thoughts HUH?!


Diana Lee said...

I can't even express how much I can relate to this. It's horribly depressing when living this way takes away everything that makes us feel like ourselves.

For me, blogging and becoming more active in headache disorders advocacy has been key in feeling like I have a purpose in life despite being so disabled. It took me a LONG time and much therapy to get where I am today, though. And I still have lots of bad days.

Gentle hugs, Kate.

Kate Chappell said...

I'm learning that process now... There's more to this story, I just can't seem to write it yet... & its been 3 weeks!!!

Nikki Samuel said...

Sadly I can relate to this Kate. I know a lot has happened for you since you wrote this, but I don't doubt that are many, many days where the love of your child is what makes you hang on. At least that's how it is for me. Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand, but people really don't realise the depths of despair that we really feel, unless they suffer with pain too. You are in my thoughts often. Sending you love and light, always xx