Friday The 13th...

I know I never finished the Migraine Awareness Month Blog Challenge... Yes, I feel absolutely horrible about that. Sometimes life intervenes. Or rather pain intervenes!!

This whole month of July seems to be going by so fast. I've been battered with pain. So much so I cannot believe this month is half way over!! Everyday seems to seep into the next, seeming like one endless cycle of pain & discomfort. I hardly know what day of the week it is.

I found out on the 2nd that my beloved doctor of 6yrs is leaving!! She & her fiancee are moving to Georgia!! This sent me right down to a massive panic attack. "You can't leave me!! You know more about me than I do!! How will I EVER find someone so compassionate, so willing to help!!" Life isn't fair for the chronic pain patient...

Then I found out I lost 12 lbs in a month! What in the world is going on?! My eating habits haven't changed, I sure as crap aren't working out!! I was floored. You know chocolate is its own food group right?!

The latest thing weighing me down, is this whole Fibromyalgia diagnosis. I can't seem to accept it. No matter how hard I try, I can't grasp the fact that this is going to be MY LIFE!! Even though I have the pain, medication & Facebook forums staring me right in the face!! Whenever I start to think about it, I have this bonfire in my mind & that image gets thrown into it. I smile so happily at the smoke emanating from its destruction. I know I have to come to terms with it eventually, but my god I don't know when that will be!! My doctor (before she left me!) asked me to try counseling. I'm sorry, this may be my hard headed, stubborn nature kicking in, but no, absolutely not! This is MY life, this is MY body, this is MY pain. This is something I'm going to have to get over MYSELF!! I need to do this for me, on my own time. Don't get me wrong, I ask others for suggestions, & help. But no one that I don't know isn't going to tell me what to do!!
Wow, that was really hard to write... 45 mins just for that little paragraph!

MRI'S. 2 of them. One of my brain, one of spinal cord. Plus a whole crap load of valium. Ok, not a "crap load", but enough to keep me sufficiently numb. This is my new up & coming adventure whenever my Drs office decides to call me back. All in the name of ruling out M.S. Oh happy happy joy joy!!

Yup, my month has been a repetitive Friday the 13th. Everyday a new challenge w/ it's own horror story. I guess I'll have to put on my armour & slay these demons, anyway I know how. Even if it's internally burning mental images!!

*hugs* to all!
K8 =]

Migraine Awareness Month #25: "Through My Children's Eyes."

Write a letter to yourself from your children.

Dear Mom,

The day you rescued me from my other owners, I knew I'd love you forever. You gave me a chance at life, that they didn't see. They only saw me as a burden. Leaving me outside in a pen lined with gravel. Sometimes, they'd forget about me, so the small stones were my only meal. I never did quite understand why 2 babies born at the same time were more special than me. They've owned me for 6 whole years, since I was a BABY! Until you & Dad came along, I forgot what love was. You both saw the love I had to share, & I'm forever grateful.

I know you always haven't felt well. I can see it in your face, your movements. But Mom, I'm always here for you. I'll always lay by your side. You always say, "I think she knows I don't feel well". I do know Mom... That's why I'm always attached to you, following you wherever you go. Just take a look into my brown eyes & you'll see my love.

You took care of me Mom, let me take care of you...

Loving you forever, your fur baby,
Fudge <3


National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.fightingheadachedisorders.com

Migraine Awareness Month #24: "Dear Genie."

Put together a wish list for your life.

1. Be happy! No matter what happens in my life I want to remain as happy as can be. Stay positive, keep up the hope, Go With The Flow, "Be Here Now".

2. Be there for my family as much as I can. Try to make it to get togethers, crochet them things on time, & don't smother them with all my problems. Most of all I want to enjoy as much time w/ them as I can!

3. Try not to complain, or whine. I don't ever want to be one of those annoying people others can't stand. So venting is allowed, but no more "Why me" blah, blah, blah...

4. Don't be afraid to ask for help! I NEVER DO!!!

5. When people ask me how I am, I'm not going to say ok. I hardly ever tell people how I TRULY FEEL. I'm obviously not OK.

6. Maybe find some way to manage my pain better? I know after so long w/ out a treatment that works, there's little hope to find one. But I'm betting sometime, somehow, somewhere one will make its way to me.

7. Don't let the small things in life bother me. I get so wrapped up in insignificant crap. For lack of a better word... (I can't & won't say what I really want too.) If I need a down day to relax, or incapacitated w/ pain, it's OK. Life still goes on... There's always tomorrow! Another reason to be happy & enjoy my life.

8. Try my hardest to embrace my life. This is me, pain & all. Look in the mirror Kate and say out loud, "I have Chronic Headaches, I have Fibromyalgia, I'm disabled, CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE". Yes, this is literally written on my mirror. I can't face it yet. I am even having a hard time writing this. But, someday I'll be able to accept this life I've been handed.

9. Hobbies. I know this may sound dumb, but I want to do more of my hobbies. Reading, crocheting, blogging, writing, & being out doors. I live on a small lake w/ awesome neighbors & I need to take advantage of it more. Stop being a hermit!!! Also, I'd love to learn to sew, quilt, and explore more of the Knook. (Knitting & crocheting combined)

10. Last but not least, have a child...

*hugs* to all!
K8 =]

National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Migraine Awareness Month #23 "I Drank the Kool-Aid!"

We all try things out of desperation, even when our common sense is telling us they're not going to do anything. Share your experience with this.

I've been kind of waiting for this one... I don't think there isn't anything out there I haven't tried, & have miserably failed at!!

Medications: There has been over 80 prescriptions in these past 5 1/2 years. All either abortives, preventatives, pain killers, & steroids. Also not including physical therapy, a spinal tap, 2MRI's, a C.T Scan, 3 Occipital Nerve Blocks, multiple blood draws, & morphine injections when the pain wouldn't cease.

Diets: Gluten free. (Which stunk immensely because I LOVE my carbs!!!)
Migraine Diet. Which is no processed meats, no certain fruits, etc. (That didn't work either, duh!)

Holistic: Tried suggested herbs like Feverfew, & Kudzu. Herbal teas, Tea Tree Oil, Lavender... Nope, no help there!!!

I'm thinking that pretty much covers it all. There's probably more... Tee-hee!!!

*Hugs to all*
K8 =]


National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Migraine Awareness Month #22: "The Game Changer."

Tell us about a time your plans changed due either an unexpected Migraine or an unexpected Migraine-free experience.

Today is another "anniversary" for me of sorts. Today marks 3yrs of pain. Pain that happens EVERYDAY! So I'm not going to sit here & complain. Whine on & on about what it's been like. (I think we already know) So all I'm going to do is embrace this day. This is who I am, regardless if I like it or not.

What I am going to do with this post is to say Thank You. Thank you to my husband, Mom & Dad for always being there for me. Always lending a helping hand when I need it. Especially, even when I don't ask for it too. You all have been my backbone, my rocks. Leading me through this journey & I couldn't have done it w/ out you!

Thank You to all my extended family members for believing in me. Always there to lend a helping hand, or comfort.

Thank You to all my friends on Facebook & Twitter for all your guidance, comfort & not minding me when I need to complain.

Last, but not least, Thank You to all of you who read my blog & letting me share a little slice of my world with you. I appreciate all the comments, and followers. I originally started doing this to vent. However now I know you all enjoy it, makes me want to post more.

Thanks again for all your love & support!
K8 =]


National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.

Migraine Awareness Month #21: "Shaking in My Boots."

What's your biggest Migraine related fear. How do you cope with it?

My biggest fear is every single day of my life. I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I never know when or where I'll be, when the pain stricks me. I live in the fear that I'll be incapacitated w/ pain out in public. I'm afraid I'll get woken up by the demon in my slumber. Basically, I live in fear every single waking moment of my life. That's just the Clusters. Add in the Daily Chronic Headache, Chronic Tension, a dab of Trigeminal Nueralgia, Migraines & of course Fibromyalgia... Happy fun times!! OH YEAH! Don't forget the horrible depression I'm battling. All together we have a joyous concoction. Man, I love sarcasm...

How I cope? Not thinking. I try not to think of the demonic beings dwelling w/ in me. But it's unbearably hard not too. So my mantra in life is, "Go with the Flow". (Right Diane?!) I'm here for a reason, plagued w/ these issues. So why not just enjoy the time I feel "OK ". Life is made to be lived to the fullest right?

★Hugs to all★
K8 =]


National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com."

Migraine Awareness Month #20: "Run, Forrest, Run!"

Describe the approach you think is best when it's time to more on to a new doctor.

One simple word...Honesty!

If you aren't happy with the physician you are seeing, then tell them why they aren't suiting your needs. You are you best advocate & should NEVER have to stay w/ a doctor who isn't helping you. Believe me, I've been through plenty of "Here take this drug & I'll see you in 6 weeks", type of doctor. Or my favorite "You have so many headache types, I just don't know where to start, & what to treat". Obviously, he's right on that aspect. But he wasn't right for ME.

Stand up for yourself! Don't take any crap. If you aren't happy, tell him/ her why! But calmly & honestly. You don't need to put up with someone who isn't compassionate, isn't helpful, doesn't return phone calls, or just doesn't understand you.

Take the time & explain why you're unhappy. Who knows it might benefit the way that doctor treats his or her next patient next time.

★Hugs★ to all & "Be here now"
K8


National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.