What? What you say "sucks"?! This so called prison term, of being thrown into a body with intolerable, horrible, nauseating, PAIN!!! Otherwise known as Life with Chronic Pain. Everyday, all day pain. The kind of pain that asks for a way out, any way out. The kind of pain that keeps you from LIVING. The incessant pain that nags at your soul, penetrating you deep down. Leaving you to believe that this existence is over. This is not the life I wanted. For fucks sake who in their right mind would?! I'd like to think that no "healthy" individual, (Mental or physical) wouldn't even begin to portray this lie (life)... But then again, it takes all kinds. The world is made up of majorly fucked up people...
In essence, I JUST have come off of a massive pain binge. Meaning, the pain was so bad I had to go to the E.R. (How many more times can I say the word pain?!?!) So that was this past Wednesday. I was in dire agony with a severe Trigeminal Neuralgia attack (facial nerve pain), a constant Migraine, Fibromyalgia flair (all over body nerve pain) PLUS my fucking period!! Yeah, I know, too much information... But that's me, so oh well... HAHAHA!!!
This left me raw, damaged & yet thankful. I'm so thankful I didn't listen to the inner demons & end my suffering myself. Say what you will, having such a high amount of pain will entertain your mind to do VERY messed up things. All I ask, is that you don't judge me. We ALL handle our pain, lives & minds differently. What may be normal to me, is chaos to you.
So please if you're thinking judgmentally, leave it there; in your mind. I am dealing with this the only way I know how... By the seat of my pants. I don't have a plan. I don't have a strict set of guidelines to light my way. Does any one?!?!! Yes, we have pain management plans. (How to handle our pain @ home or at the emergency room or even urgent care) But no one knows what this life has for us... I can manage my diet, stress, sleep & still get slammed by some outside source. Like the weather!! I can honestly plan my life around what the humidity, storms etc, have in store. But then again, some others aren't even affected that much by weather. Like I sad, normal for me, chaos for you...
I don't know where I am even going with this. This is my therapy, it helps me get through it all. Quite honestly I am shocked I even got out the laptop & logged in to my blogger account. But then again, I think every thing happens for a reason. If even one person gets something, anything out of this, my mission is complete. I know it helped me!
I cannot say how often I'll be writing. I'd like to start off once a week or so... We'll see, small goals to start off with right?
Please leave me a comment, if the notion strikes you. I'd LOVE to hear what you have to say & hear about your experiences.
As Always,
K8
Friday, July 14, 2017
Friday, January 15, 2016
"By the way just so you know. Always, everyday, this is how I feel."
Pain has me rattled to my core. Depression has taken a hold... This poem sums it up perfectly. Written by me obviously...
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Been too long...
I hate that I've been away for what seems like years. Well it has been!!! The last post was all about insomnia. There was a reason I was such a severe insomniac?!?! I WAS PREGNANT!!! I quit smoking, lost a lot of weight & was the healthiest I've ever been.
Now more than 2 years later I'm a mother to a beautiful little girl named Gracyn. Gained all my weight back & back into the throws of chronic pain.
Pregnancy was great to me. About 16 weeks in my migraines stopped & didn't return until 2 weeks postpartum. Even while nursing, I still got the Migraines back!!! Ugh
Motherhood, with Chronic illness' hasn't been easy. I struggle to make it through each day. I fight with my body to do the "normal" things that need to be done. Diapers, playing with a rambunctious toddler, keeping the house in a maintainable state. You know, motherhood stuff.
I wanted to slowly ease myself back into this & let you all know, I'm a alive. As much as I can be...
Be well
K8
K8
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Insomnia...
Today is the 4th week that I have been dealing with the most horrendous, unrelenting insomnia I've EVER had. Usually by now it lets up, but as of now (obviously) it isn't.
I have never had to go to my primary care physician & ask for help, but last Monday I did. Within that week I was on 3 DIFFERENT medications!!! (Ambien, Hydroxine & Klonopin) As you can probably guess, NONE of them have helped.
The only thing that I found to help is getting out of the house & physically excerting myself to the point that my body is killing me & begging for me to stop. Which isn't saying much, becuase my body always feels like that with the Fibromyalgia kicking my butt everyday. The day I did exhaust myself was Saturday. My Hubby & I walked for what seemed like miles. All around different stores, up & down every blasted isle....
I can say that it helped me sleep, but not being able to walk due to the immense pain of my body & head pains, is PURE TORTURE!!!
I guess I'll just have to wait this out & see what happens... I can't push myself any farther & be in constant pain. (More than I am ususally)
I have never had to go to my primary care physician & ask for help, but last Monday I did. Within that week I was on 3 DIFFERENT medications!!! (Ambien, Hydroxine & Klonopin) As you can probably guess, NONE of them have helped.
The only thing that I found to help is getting out of the house & physically excerting myself to the point that my body is killing me & begging for me to stop. Which isn't saying much, becuase my body always feels like that with the Fibromyalgia kicking my butt everyday. The day I did exhaust myself was Saturday. My Hubby & I walked for what seemed like miles. All around different stores, up & down every blasted isle....
I can say that it helped me sleep, but not being able to walk due to the immense pain of my body & head pains, is PURE TORTURE!!!
I guess I'll just have to wait this out & see what happens... I can't push myself any farther & be in constant pain. (More than I am ususally)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Another New Year...
I'm sitting here thinking about what 2013 will be like & I can't shake off the feelings of anxiety that come with it. I know, I know, I over analyze everything & bring this all upon myself. However, I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way. Especially, if you're a chronic pain sufferer.
I never make resolutions for the new year. Why you ask? That's just plain & simple. It's easier said than done & why set myself up to fail? My existence now is based on failures. Simple & ugly failures like not being a social butterfly, not being able to go outside when it's bitter cold, even though we NEED to go out to get groceries. The list goes on & on. A lot of people don't realize but my greatest effort in the day is just taking a shower.
I've come to realize that resolutions don't mean a darn thing. Why just because a new year has started that we feel we must improve ourselves? Why can't we all just work at something everyday, or be a decent human being? A simple act of kindness goes a long way. Hold a door open for someone, smile at someone as you walk by & by all means don't make accusing faces at someone with a handicapped parking sticker. That one really bothers me... You don't know what I go through, you don't know how I feel. Yes, I may LOOK normal, but inside my body is reeling.
As you can tell, I'm bitter. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. Because, I know no matter how hard I may try to improve myself, my pain & mental status will ruin it all for me. I'm going into my 7th year w/ chronic pain & my 4th year of all day everyday agony. When I look back & see all that I've gone through, it makes me cry. I haven't stopped this demon from invading me. I haven't even come anywhere close to having the life I said I'd have 7 years ago. "A manageable condition that would sometime knock me down, but I would fight through it." YEAH RIGHT! Little did I know then, that this horrible headaches would multiply & bring in new friends to ruin my life.
All I can do now is look on the bright side. I've suffered A LOT, but you know what?! No matter how much I complain, vent or whine, I'm still going to wake up tomorrow feeling the same. If I'm lucky I won't feel worse than I am now. I just have to put on my warrior paint & fight to survive each & everyday that comes at me. Because that is what I am & will always be...
A chronic pain demon fighter!
Best wishes to all of you in the new year! May we all keep fighting & never ever loose HOPE!
K8 =]
I never make resolutions for the new year. Why you ask? That's just plain & simple. It's easier said than done & why set myself up to fail? My existence now is based on failures. Simple & ugly failures like not being a social butterfly, not being able to go outside when it's bitter cold, even though we NEED to go out to get groceries. The list goes on & on. A lot of people don't realize but my greatest effort in the day is just taking a shower.
I've come to realize that resolutions don't mean a darn thing. Why just because a new year has started that we feel we must improve ourselves? Why can't we all just work at something everyday, or be a decent human being? A simple act of kindness goes a long way. Hold a door open for someone, smile at someone as you walk by & by all means don't make accusing faces at someone with a handicapped parking sticker. That one really bothers me... You don't know what I go through, you don't know how I feel. Yes, I may LOOK normal, but inside my body is reeling.
As you can tell, I'm bitter. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. Because, I know no matter how hard I may try to improve myself, my pain & mental status will ruin it all for me. I'm going into my 7th year w/ chronic pain & my 4th year of all day everyday agony. When I look back & see all that I've gone through, it makes me cry. I haven't stopped this demon from invading me. I haven't even come anywhere close to having the life I said I'd have 7 years ago. "A manageable condition that would sometime knock me down, but I would fight through it." YEAH RIGHT! Little did I know then, that this horrible headaches would multiply & bring in new friends to ruin my life.
All I can do now is look on the bright side. I've suffered A LOT, but you know what?! No matter how much I complain, vent or whine, I'm still going to wake up tomorrow feeling the same. If I'm lucky I won't feel worse than I am now. I just have to put on my warrior paint & fight to survive each & everyday that comes at me. Because that is what I am & will always be...
A chronic pain demon fighter!
Best wishes to all of you in the new year! May we all keep fighting & never ever loose HOPE!
K8 =]
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Trapped In This Body
Depression has taken a hold of me. Anxiety rattles me to the core. Pain has a grasp on every fiber of my being. I exist only through pain. Pain has become me, I have become pain.
As I sit here writing this, I am so much pain! I can only describe it as EVERYWHERE!!! From the top of my head, to my toes are in agony. I'm on the brink of crying (I've already succumbed to that earlier) I try to distract myself with Facebook, or talking to my Hubby. But it's still there, seething, gnawing & tearing me apart.
There's nothing I can take or do to make it go away. Pain meds don't work, they only leave me constipated. (Too much info?!) I can't focus on anything, it's hard to read, crochet, or even jumble these sentences along. That's why I like Facebook... Mindless fun, support & well there isn't really all that much to focus on besides what people write. Short little diddys I can comprehend...
All I want is for the pain to die a horrible death! Die & leave me alone!! I've suffered long enough. I want you gone. I have become a shell of my former self. A fake smile plastered to my face, a fake laugh. While all I do inside is cry, weep, scream & resent these pain demons that have taken ahold of me.
I have Hope still, that's all that's keeping me going. I'm going to see a Pain Management Specialist in less than a month. I have no false hope though. I've been through that. So, sad to say I'm going to that appointment with the end results already in mind. "I can't help you. Have you seen this Doctor?"
All I can Hope for is that SOMEONE has help for me. Until that day happens, I'm trapped in this living hell. Surviving each day, only to face yet another day. Whatever that day will bring, I don't know. That's my sad, strange enjoyment. My little personal thrill ride...
*Hugs*
K8 =\
As I sit here writing this, I am so much pain! I can only describe it as EVERYWHERE!!! From the top of my head, to my toes are in agony. I'm on the brink of crying (I've already succumbed to that earlier) I try to distract myself with Facebook, or talking to my Hubby. But it's still there, seething, gnawing & tearing me apart.
There's nothing I can take or do to make it go away. Pain meds don't work, they only leave me constipated. (Too much info?!) I can't focus on anything, it's hard to read, crochet, or even jumble these sentences along. That's why I like Facebook... Mindless fun, support & well there isn't really all that much to focus on besides what people write. Short little diddys I can comprehend...
All I want is for the pain to die a horrible death! Die & leave me alone!! I've suffered long enough. I want you gone. I have become a shell of my former self. A fake smile plastered to my face, a fake laugh. While all I do inside is cry, weep, scream & resent these pain demons that have taken ahold of me.
I have Hope still, that's all that's keeping me going. I'm going to see a Pain Management Specialist in less than a month. I have no false hope though. I've been through that. So, sad to say I'm going to that appointment with the end results already in mind. "I can't help you. Have you seen this Doctor?"
All I can Hope for is that SOMEONE has help for me. Until that day happens, I'm trapped in this living hell. Surviving each day, only to face yet another day. Whatever that day will bring, I don't know. That's my sad, strange enjoyment. My little personal thrill ride...
*Hugs*
K8 =\
Saturday, September 29, 2012
My Own Personal D-Day
I cannot honestly believe that is has been 6 whole years. That one night, that one single "headache", that took my life & transformed it. It took away my everything & changed my life complete 360 degrees.
It all started with one Cluster Headache. Then another one the next night, then another. During its course of invading my body it added other "headaches" along the way. "Why not?!" It says. "Let's have a party up here & invite the whole gang!". The Migraines had been invited to stay with the Clusters. Then over 3 years now a Chronic (everyday) Tension Headache has picked up housekeeping in my brain & has no plans to comply with the eviction notice I've sent it on multiple occasions. The Trigeminal Nueralgia moved in next door shortly after, with out my compliance. They are all here for some reason. They chose my brain over someone elses & I'll never know why. My body simply couldn't fight off the infiltrators. They have placed a banner outside all of their doors reminding me, "No matter what you do, no matter how you try to evict us, we are NEVER leaving. Medications can't touch us, so keep trying!!". Then in March, they invited their cousin Fibromyalgia over. The Fibro decided it liked it here too & now is here in cahoots with them all.
They taunt me, they infiltrate me, they take me away from who I was. That person I'll never see again. They peek their heads out of their doors, just to make sure that I know they are still there. As if I'll forget!!
When they do come outside their lairs, they do so in full force. The party they throw in my cranium is horrendous & never seems to end. But somehow they get bored & go back to their dwellings, only to come out again & reek havoc on me. Over & over this process happens. I don't know when they will strike, that is their game.
However, over the past 6 years I've learned a lot. I learned that no matter how many "parties" they'll throw, I'll survive them. It may not be easy & my sanity may come in to play with it. But I know, I'll wake up the next day, only to fight off whomever comes out to play...
Not only do I have to give myself a pat on the back for being "strong", I also want to thank a few people. My husband for one, who sees me through the worst & helps me get off the edge of sanity. He is my caretaker, waiting on me, cooking for me, etc. It pains me to have him see me go through all this, but there is no one I'd rather go through it with!! I LOVE YOU MIKEY!!
My parents, for their unrelenting help. Anything they can & will to to ease my comfort, they both are right there. I know deep down inside no Mother or Father wants to see their child go through so much pain. I know it can't be easy. But the love they have for me is amazing & I love them right back! I Love you oodles Billum & Bumbie
My brother & sister in law who have seen me through this too. I know sanity isn't something someone wants to deal with first hand. Especially, when that particular person is a blubbering mess. But I thank them both for dropping what they were doing to help me in an instant!! A&K
I also want to thank all of my family members. One's who call (Tina) & check in on me. Those that offer an ear, & truly understand how hard it is to be me. Without you all I wouldn't have such an amazing support system! You know who you are!! And much love goes out to certain "Family" who surprised me with Christmas in September!!! LOVE YOU LADIES J&J!! Plus the little ones!!
Finally, I want to thank all of you who have followed, commented, & read my blog. I never knew the world outside of my house could be so compassionate. I've met (not physically) some of the best friends & supporters a gal could ask for. Facebook, Twitter & all my support group friends I love you! You know first hand what I'm going through & are always there for a suggestion or just to let me vent.
I can't do this alone, & I'm not planning to. THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL, for all your help, compassion & love you share with me. There are no words to describe how happy you all make me!!!
Much love & Hope
Kate =]
It all started with one Cluster Headache. Then another one the next night, then another. During its course of invading my body it added other "headaches" along the way. "Why not?!" It says. "Let's have a party up here & invite the whole gang!". The Migraines had been invited to stay with the Clusters. Then over 3 years now a Chronic (everyday) Tension Headache has picked up housekeeping in my brain & has no plans to comply with the eviction notice I've sent it on multiple occasions. The Trigeminal Nueralgia moved in next door shortly after, with out my compliance. They are all here for some reason. They chose my brain over someone elses & I'll never know why. My body simply couldn't fight off the infiltrators. They have placed a banner outside all of their doors reminding me, "No matter what you do, no matter how you try to evict us, we are NEVER leaving. Medications can't touch us, so keep trying!!". Then in March, they invited their cousin Fibromyalgia over. The Fibro decided it liked it here too & now is here in cahoots with them all.
They taunt me, they infiltrate me, they take me away from who I was. That person I'll never see again. They peek their heads out of their doors, just to make sure that I know they are still there. As if I'll forget!!
When they do come outside their lairs, they do so in full force. The party they throw in my cranium is horrendous & never seems to end. But somehow they get bored & go back to their dwellings, only to come out again & reek havoc on me. Over & over this process happens. I don't know when they will strike, that is their game.
However, over the past 6 years I've learned a lot. I learned that no matter how many "parties" they'll throw, I'll survive them. It may not be easy & my sanity may come in to play with it. But I know, I'll wake up the next day, only to fight off whomever comes out to play...
Not only do I have to give myself a pat on the back for being "strong", I also want to thank a few people. My husband for one, who sees me through the worst & helps me get off the edge of sanity. He is my caretaker, waiting on me, cooking for me, etc. It pains me to have him see me go through all this, but there is no one I'd rather go through it with!! I LOVE YOU MIKEY!!
My parents, for their unrelenting help. Anything they can & will to to ease my comfort, they both are right there. I know deep down inside no Mother or Father wants to see their child go through so much pain. I know it can't be easy. But the love they have for me is amazing & I love them right back! I Love you oodles Billum & Bumbie
My brother & sister in law who have seen me through this too. I know sanity isn't something someone wants to deal with first hand. Especially, when that particular person is a blubbering mess. But I thank them both for dropping what they were doing to help me in an instant!! A&K
I also want to thank all of my family members. One's who call (Tina) & check in on me. Those that offer an ear, & truly understand how hard it is to be me. Without you all I wouldn't have such an amazing support system! You know who you are!! And much love goes out to certain "Family" who surprised me with Christmas in September!!! LOVE YOU LADIES J&J!! Plus the little ones!!
Finally, I want to thank all of you who have followed, commented, & read my blog. I never knew the world outside of my house could be so compassionate. I've met (not physically) some of the best friends & supporters a gal could ask for. Facebook, Twitter & all my support group friends I love you! You know first hand what I'm going through & are always there for a suggestion or just to let me vent.
I can't do this alone, & I'm not planning to. THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL, for all your help, compassion & love you share with me. There are no words to describe how happy you all make me!!!
Much love & Hope
Kate =]
Friday, September 28, 2012
Help Achieved!!
I’m sick of the pain. I’m sick of the tired. I’m sick of some people not getting "it". I’m sick of always feeling down. I’m sick of the full-blow panic attacks. I’m sick of the sad. I’m sick of my mind play tricks on itself. I’m sick of going from feeling every mishap in my body to not feeling a thing at all. But above all, I’m just sick. Sick & tired of the relentless pain...
Sorry, just needed to vent for a minute... ♥♥
Well, I went to my Dr & get the help I soo needed to stop that horrific fibro flair mixed with a wicked tension headache. Mmm Prednisone!! I'm sorry, I do not, I repeat I DO NOT like narcotics. They don't do anything for me. Plus on the end there's addiction & the rebound headaches. To me, it's not worth it. In my 6 year battle the ONLY thing that has helped me get back to somewhat "normal" is Prednisone. Obviously, I don't like the swelling, eating like a glutton &drinking like a fish... But who does?! It removes the majority of my pain so I can have some sort of sanity, relaxation & whatever normalcy I can muster.
Here's to hoping for a good weekend!
Kate =\
Sorry, just needed to vent for a minute... ♥♥
Well, I went to my Dr & get the help I soo needed to stop that horrific fibro flair mixed with a wicked tension headache. Mmm Prednisone!! I'm sorry, I do not, I repeat I DO NOT like narcotics. They don't do anything for me. Plus on the end there's addiction & the rebound headaches. To me, it's not worth it. In my 6 year battle the ONLY thing that has helped me get back to somewhat "normal" is Prednisone. Obviously, I don't like the swelling, eating like a glutton &drinking like a fish... But who does?! It removes the majority of my pain so I can have some sort of sanity, relaxation & whatever normalcy I can muster.
Here's to hoping for a good weekend!
Kate =\
Thursday, September 20, 2012
HELP!!!!
OK I'm doing it.... I NEVER ask for help, but this time I'm asking EVERYONE for help. How do you cope mentally when your physical pain is surging through you? How do you not let your mental capacity break?!
I'm an emotional person... I feel things more than other's. I always say, "Some people need a spoonful of love, while I need a wheelbarrow full!" I cannot separate my mental & physical pain. Once it gets to that point where I'm writhing on the floor in agony, I just cannot breathe through it. Or listen to music to calm me down. (Don't get me wrong THESE are WONDERFUL suggestions, they just don't work for me) I break down mentally, anxiety, I get overwhelmed. Then the next thing I know I want to kill the pain. NOT MYSELF, just the pain.
I don't know what to do. NO pain meds have helped. NOTHING will take the pain away! I just end up a ball of nerves, & in complete shock. I only ask you this, because if you broke your leg (which is as extreme my pain gets) you wouldn't be trying to soothe yourself by breathing, or putting yourself mentally on a beach with warm air, seagulls & listening to the tide. NO! You'll be focused on that agony & freaking the crap out!!!
PLEASE if you have ANYTHING that will help me, I'M BEGGING YOU TO POST A COMMENT!!
*hugs*
K8
I'm an emotional person... I feel things more than other's. I always say, "Some people need a spoonful of love, while I need a wheelbarrow full!" I cannot separate my mental & physical pain. Once it gets to that point where I'm writhing on the floor in agony, I just cannot breathe through it. Or listen to music to calm me down. (Don't get me wrong THESE are WONDERFUL suggestions, they just don't work for me) I break down mentally, anxiety, I get overwhelmed. Then the next thing I know I want to kill the pain. NOT MYSELF, just the pain.
I don't know what to do. NO pain meds have helped. NOTHING will take the pain away! I just end up a ball of nerves, & in complete shock. I only ask you this, because if you broke your leg (which is as extreme my pain gets) you wouldn't be trying to soothe yourself by breathing, or putting yourself mentally on a beach with warm air, seagulls & listening to the tide. NO! You'll be focused on that agony & freaking the crap out!!!
PLEASE if you have ANYTHING that will help me, I'M BEGGING YOU TO POST A COMMENT!!
*hugs*
K8
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Helpful Information
OK, today is horrible. I have a wicked face flare up, wonderfully known as Trigeminal Neuralgia. I'm talking out of the side of my mouth. My face "feels" swollen, although it doesn't look like it on the outside. Oh, don't forget the wonderful drooling! It frickin' hurts to laugh, or chew. Any "wind" or slight touch, causes me to whelp out in pain... You know how when your foot falls asleep & you get those "pins & needles" sensation? The one's that HURT really bad? But it still feels numb? Yeah, that's what is happening to the whole right side of my face. FANTASTIC!!
Anyway, I wrote today to tell you to check out my friend's blog... (Harmless plugs never hurt anyone HAA HAAA) It's a great website for Trigeminal & Cluster Headache info. Kinda correlates to my above topic, right?!
TNNME
http://tnnme.weebly.com/
*Hugs*
K8 =
Anyway, I wrote today to tell you to check out my friend's blog... (Harmless plugs never hurt anyone HAA HAAA) It's a great website for Trigeminal & Cluster Headache info. Kinda correlates to my above topic, right?!
TNNME
http://tnnme.weebly.com/
*Hugs*
K8 =
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Purpose
OK, I need to vent. I need to complain. I need to whine. Whatever it's called I need to do some & have my fair share of it!
I don't know about you but when I get insanely depressed, (nice joke there huh?) there is this one thought that keeps getting tossed around in my brain. "What is my purpose in life?" I keep throwing this around & all I can come up with are the negatives...
To be in pain.
To be one of the faceless millions suffering around the world.
To not have a life.
To be on disability.
To be invisible.
To be stuck on the couch or bed all day writhing in pain.
To not have any medications that will even help me.
To be ridiculed by other's.
To be the butt of other's jokes.
To be the party pooper.
To be plagued with emotions I can't handle.
To be a burden.
To be a shell of my former self.
To be isolated.
Those are just a few of the many! In a nut shell my life utterly & completely sucks!!
So much for stopping the self berating thoughts HUH?!
I don't know about you but when I get insanely depressed, (nice joke there huh?) there is this one thought that keeps getting tossed around in my brain. "What is my purpose in life?" I keep throwing this around & all I can come up with are the negatives...
To be in pain.
To be one of the faceless millions suffering around the world.
To not have a life.
To be on disability.
To be invisible.
To be stuck on the couch or bed all day writhing in pain.
To not have any medications that will even help me.
To be ridiculed by other's.
To be the butt of other's jokes.
To be the party pooper.
To be plagued with emotions I can't handle.
To be a burden.
To be a shell of my former self.
To be isolated.
Those are just a few of the many! In a nut shell my life utterly & completely sucks!!
So much for stopping the self berating thoughts HUH?!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Spoon Theory
As I sit here still reeling from yesterdays post, there's one thing on my mind; The Spoonie Story. For some of you, you may never have heard of it. So that's why I am here to enlighten you!! Just Kidding... Man, am I burying SOOOO many emotions this morning...
I don't quite honestly know why its stuck in my head today. It's just an awesome story about chronic illness & how to describe it to others who just quite don't get it. I've passed it along on Facebook & Twitter, plus to my parents. But please, take time out of your day to read it. In the end you might just consider yourself a "Spoonie" like me!
*Hugs*
K8 =\
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
I don't quite honestly know why its stuck in my head today. It's just an awesome story about chronic illness & how to describe it to others who just quite don't get it. I've passed it along on Facebook & Twitter, plus to my parents. But please, take time out of your day to read it. In the end you might just consider yourself a "Spoonie" like me!
*Hugs*
K8 =\
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
Monday, August 6, 2012
Anxiety, Depression & Pain = 1 Unhappy K8
I've always heard that with a chronic illness comes depression. I've never believed it until a few months ago. I've always considered myself a very strong willed, heard headed person. Not like, my way or the highway, but my way or we'll take a detour. As I've stated before, the depression didn't really bother me when I got diagnosed with the multitude of headaches. Yes, I was "depressed"' but NOTHING like I am now. Obviously it comes when your whole life is turned around 360 degrees. You're 27 years old & can't work, no life, just pain...
O.K, I'm going to tell you 100% whats been going on. Around June I noticed myself, not really being myself. I slept more than usual (which is something that comes in waves), I cried a lot more at stupid things like TV commercials, feeling completely over whelmed to the point where I would have crying binges for hours at a time, & then I had my first panic attack. Let me just say I was honestly surprised at the severity of them!! Then everyday became more of a chore than "normal" for me. I would have no ambition at all. I lost focus on my hobbies, crocheting, reading etc. When I went out into public it was HORRIBLE!! I would see all these mothers with their infants & instantly despise them with everything in me. (This comes due to the fact that my Hubby & I haven't conceived yet. I don't know if its due to my body refusing it, or what. Another unresolved issue that plagues me) I also started having panic attacks just because I was leaving the comfort of my domain. Nothing could hurt me there, everything at home I could control.
The worst part for me was the suicidal thoughts. I would have these visions in my head of jerking the steering wheel while my Hubby was driving & ending it all. There was also the planning of my funeral, wondering if I wasn't here would it make s difference, watching a knife going down my arm & laughing at all the blood pouring out, and lastly would it be that bad if I did so?
So, as that progressed I also started making up delusions & over analyzing situations. I had to re-do every part of my day & see if there was something I should have done better or something I wished I did do. (Like "All I did was sleep & lay around today, I'm so worthless") Over whelmimg myself with stupid thoughts that didn't matter. For example, I believed 100& that my Husband wasn't happy with me, & going to leave me. All because he was scared, quiet & didn't know how to help me. I sat at the kitchen table that night uncontrollably crying & apologizing to him. Realizing I was doing this to myself, for no reason at all!! Something inside my brain clicked & told me I wasn't right.
The very next day I called my doctor to make an appointment. I NEEDED HELP!! She put me on Celexa for the depression & Klonopin for the anxiety attacks. (Which were coming at a rate of 7 a day average) As a month went on the Celexa wasn't helping, the Klonopin did its job & mellowed me right out. She switched the Celexa to Effexor XR. That worked! The doctor wanted me to go to counseling for everything, but I plain refused... As I stated in my last post, this is MY BODY, MY PAIN, MY MOODS, & no one is going to tell me how to deal with it. Someone has a plan for me & I plan on facing it head on. Even if there has been bumps along the way...
I also have to mention there has been A LOT of personal stress in life too. My Hubby lost his job, so financially we are not OK. I blame & hate myself for nit being able to get a job & help. Bad luck has followed us like a storm cloud. One thing after another. Before I can even deal & face one burden, another one comes & slaps me on the face... It has not been easy & it seems like it'll never get any better.
As of right now, I'm doing OK. A lot better than I was, but not where I used to be. Anxiety attacks still plague me, my delusions have lessened, the public still bothers me, but not to a point where I despise them any more. Believe me, I still see mothers with their babies & my heart jumps into my throat. I'm still insanely jealous over friends & family members with newborns. But I'm also really happy for them. I'm only jealous because I want one!! The depression is still there & I'm still hard on myself. If I have a "good day" (bearable pain) I try to make the most of it, without pushing myself too far that I'm hurting the next day. I know normalcy will come in time, I just have to get through these thoughts & feeling without burying them.
People always tell me I'm a strong person to deal with 2 chronic illnesses & not succumb to suicide or addiction. But you know what? I'M NOT STRONG, I SURVIVE! Someone has made this my track in life & even though I fail sometimes to face it head on, I don't really have a choice. THIS IS MY LIFE, NOW & FOREVER. So, yes there has been some bumps along the way, but I plan to deal & face this struggle any way I can. I have to survive. I have to deal. I have to live my life to the fullest. Even if this wasn't what I had imagined for myself.
I write all this & am open with you with my struggles because I want everyone to know that its OK to feel this way. Maybe you don't feel 100% like I have, but depression, anxiety & suicidal thoughts are something most people deal with. Especially, in the chronic pain community. So please, the only thing I want you to get out of this is, its OK to gt help. Its OK to reach out to family, friends or whomever. Talk about whats been going on with you... Knowing you have a problem & admitting it & reaching out is very hard. But its also the BEST thing you can do.
*Hugs*
K8
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O.K, I'm going to tell you 100% whats been going on. Around June I noticed myself, not really being myself. I slept more than usual (which is something that comes in waves), I cried a lot more at stupid things like TV commercials, feeling completely over whelmed to the point where I would have crying binges for hours at a time, & then I had my first panic attack. Let me just say I was honestly surprised at the severity of them!! Then everyday became more of a chore than "normal" for me. I would have no ambition at all. I lost focus on my hobbies, crocheting, reading etc. When I went out into public it was HORRIBLE!! I would see all these mothers with their infants & instantly despise them with everything in me. (This comes due to the fact that my Hubby & I haven't conceived yet. I don't know if its due to my body refusing it, or what. Another unresolved issue that plagues me) I also started having panic attacks just because I was leaving the comfort of my domain. Nothing could hurt me there, everything at home I could control.
The worst part for me was the suicidal thoughts. I would have these visions in my head of jerking the steering wheel while my Hubby was driving & ending it all. There was also the planning of my funeral, wondering if I wasn't here would it make s difference, watching a knife going down my arm & laughing at all the blood pouring out, and lastly would it be that bad if I did so?
So, as that progressed I also started making up delusions & over analyzing situations. I had to re-do every part of my day & see if there was something I should have done better or something I wished I did do. (Like "All I did was sleep & lay around today, I'm so worthless") Over whelmimg myself with stupid thoughts that didn't matter. For example, I believed 100& that my Husband wasn't happy with me, & going to leave me. All because he was scared, quiet & didn't know how to help me. I sat at the kitchen table that night uncontrollably crying & apologizing to him. Realizing I was doing this to myself, for no reason at all!! Something inside my brain clicked & told me I wasn't right.
The very next day I called my doctor to make an appointment. I NEEDED HELP!! She put me on Celexa for the depression & Klonopin for the anxiety attacks. (Which were coming at a rate of 7 a day average) As a month went on the Celexa wasn't helping, the Klonopin did its job & mellowed me right out. She switched the Celexa to Effexor XR. That worked! The doctor wanted me to go to counseling for everything, but I plain refused... As I stated in my last post, this is MY BODY, MY PAIN, MY MOODS, & no one is going to tell me how to deal with it. Someone has a plan for me & I plan on facing it head on. Even if there has been bumps along the way...
I also have to mention there has been A LOT of personal stress in life too. My Hubby lost his job, so financially we are not OK. I blame & hate myself for nit being able to get a job & help. Bad luck has followed us like a storm cloud. One thing after another. Before I can even deal & face one burden, another one comes & slaps me on the face... It has not been easy & it seems like it'll never get any better.
As of right now, I'm doing OK. A lot better than I was, but not where I used to be. Anxiety attacks still plague me, my delusions have lessened, the public still bothers me, but not to a point where I despise them any more. Believe me, I still see mothers with their babies & my heart jumps into my throat. I'm still insanely jealous over friends & family members with newborns. But I'm also really happy for them. I'm only jealous because I want one!! The depression is still there & I'm still hard on myself. If I have a "good day" (bearable pain) I try to make the most of it, without pushing myself too far that I'm hurting the next day. I know normalcy will come in time, I just have to get through these thoughts & feeling without burying them.
People always tell me I'm a strong person to deal with 2 chronic illnesses & not succumb to suicide or addiction. But you know what? I'M NOT STRONG, I SURVIVE! Someone has made this my track in life & even though I fail sometimes to face it head on, I don't really have a choice. THIS IS MY LIFE, NOW & FOREVER. So, yes there has been some bumps along the way, but I plan to deal & face this struggle any way I can. I have to survive. I have to deal. I have to live my life to the fullest. Even if this wasn't what I had imagined for myself.
I write all this & am open with you with my struggles because I want everyone to know that its OK to feel this way. Maybe you don't feel 100% like I have, but depression, anxiety & suicidal thoughts are something most people deal with. Especially, in the chronic pain community. So please, the only thing I want you to get out of this is, its OK to gt help. Its OK to reach out to family, friends or whomever. Talk about whats been going on with you... Knowing you have a problem & admitting it & reaching out is very hard. But its also the BEST thing you can do.
*Hugs*
K8
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Friday, July 13, 2012
Friday The 13th...
I know I never finished the Migraine Awareness Month Blog Challenge... Yes, I feel absolutely horrible about that. Sometimes life intervenes. Or rather pain intervenes!!
This whole month of July seems to be going by so fast. I've been battered with pain. So much so I cannot believe this month is half way over!! Everyday seems to seep into the next, seeming like one endless cycle of pain & discomfort. I hardly know what day of the week it is.
I found out on the 2nd that my beloved doctor of 6yrs is leaving!! She & her fiancee are moving to Georgia!! This sent me right down to a massive panic attack. "You can't leave me!! You know more about me than I do!! How will I EVER find someone so compassionate, so willing to help!!" Life isn't fair for the chronic pain patient...
Then I found out I lost 12 lbs in a month! What in the world is going on?! My eating habits haven't changed, I sure as crap aren't working out!! I was floored. You know chocolate is its own food group right?!
The latest thing weighing me down, is this whole Fibromyalgia diagnosis. I can't seem to accept it. No matter how hard I try, I can't grasp the fact that this is going to be MY LIFE!! Even though I have the pain, medication & Facebook forums staring me right in the face!! Whenever I start to think about it, I have this bonfire in my mind & that image gets thrown into it. I smile so happily at the smoke emanating from its destruction. I know I have to come to terms with it eventually, but my god I don't know when that will be!! My doctor (before she left me!) asked me to try counseling. I'm sorry, this may be my hard headed, stubborn nature kicking in, but no, absolutely not! This is MY life, this is MY body, this is MY pain. This is something I'm going to have to get over MYSELF!! I need to do this for me, on my own time. Don't get me wrong, I ask others for suggestions, & help. But no one that I don't know isn't going to tell me what to do!!
Wow, that was really hard to write... 45 mins just for that little paragraph!
MRI'S. 2 of them. One of my brain, one of spinal cord. Plus a whole crap load of valium. Ok, not a "crap load", but enough to keep me sufficiently numb. This is my new up & coming adventure whenever my Drs office decides to call me back. All in the name of ruling out M.S. Oh happy happy joy joy!!
Yup, my month has been a repetitive Friday the 13th. Everyday a new challenge w/ it's own horror story. I guess I'll have to put on my armour & slay these demons, anyway I know how. Even if it's internally burning mental images!!
*hugs* to all!
K8 =]
This whole month of July seems to be going by so fast. I've been battered with pain. So much so I cannot believe this month is half way over!! Everyday seems to seep into the next, seeming like one endless cycle of pain & discomfort. I hardly know what day of the week it is.
I found out on the 2nd that my beloved doctor of 6yrs is leaving!! She & her fiancee are moving to Georgia!! This sent me right down to a massive panic attack. "You can't leave me!! You know more about me than I do!! How will I EVER find someone so compassionate, so willing to help!!" Life isn't fair for the chronic pain patient...
Then I found out I lost 12 lbs in a month! What in the world is going on?! My eating habits haven't changed, I sure as crap aren't working out!! I was floored. You know chocolate is its own food group right?!
The latest thing weighing me down, is this whole Fibromyalgia diagnosis. I can't seem to accept it. No matter how hard I try, I can't grasp the fact that this is going to be MY LIFE!! Even though I have the pain, medication & Facebook forums staring me right in the face!! Whenever I start to think about it, I have this bonfire in my mind & that image gets thrown into it. I smile so happily at the smoke emanating from its destruction. I know I have to come to terms with it eventually, but my god I don't know when that will be!! My doctor (before she left me!) asked me to try counseling. I'm sorry, this may be my hard headed, stubborn nature kicking in, but no, absolutely not! This is MY life, this is MY body, this is MY pain. This is something I'm going to have to get over MYSELF!! I need to do this for me, on my own time. Don't get me wrong, I ask others for suggestions, & help. But no one that I don't know isn't going to tell me what to do!!
Wow, that was really hard to write... 45 mins just for that little paragraph!
MRI'S. 2 of them. One of my brain, one of spinal cord. Plus a whole crap load of valium. Ok, not a "crap load", but enough to keep me sufficiently numb. This is my new up & coming adventure whenever my Drs office decides to call me back. All in the name of ruling out M.S. Oh happy happy joy joy!!
Yup, my month has been a repetitive Friday the 13th. Everyday a new challenge w/ it's own horror story. I guess I'll have to put on my armour & slay these demons, anyway I know how. Even if it's internally burning mental images!!
*hugs* to all!
K8 =]
Monday, June 25, 2012
Migraine Awareness Month #25: "Through My Children's Eyes."
Write a letter to yourself from your children.
Dear Mom,
The day you rescued me from my other owners, I knew I'd love you forever. You gave me a chance at life, that they didn't see. They only saw me as a burden. Leaving me outside in a pen lined with gravel. Sometimes, they'd forget about me, so the small stones were my only meal. I never did quite understand why 2 babies born at the same time were more special than me. They've owned me for 6 whole years, since I was a BABY! Until you & Dad came along, I forgot what love was. You both saw the love I had to share, & I'm forever grateful.
I know you always haven't felt well. I can see it in your face, your movements. But Mom, I'm always here for you. I'll always lay by your side. You always say, "I think she knows I don't feel well". I do know Mom... That's why I'm always attached to you, following you wherever you go. Just take a look into my brown eyes & you'll see my love.
You took care of me Mom, let me take care of you...
Loving you forever, your fur baby,
Fudge <3
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.fightingheadachedisorders.com
Dear Mom,
The day you rescued me from my other owners, I knew I'd love you forever. You gave me a chance at life, that they didn't see. They only saw me as a burden. Leaving me outside in a pen lined with gravel. Sometimes, they'd forget about me, so the small stones were my only meal. I never did quite understand why 2 babies born at the same time were more special than me. They've owned me for 6 whole years, since I was a BABY! Until you & Dad came along, I forgot what love was. You both saw the love I had to share, & I'm forever grateful.
I know you always haven't felt well. I can see it in your face, your movements. But Mom, I'm always here for you. I'll always lay by your side. You always say, "I think she knows I don't feel well". I do know Mom... That's why I'm always attached to you, following you wherever you go. Just take a look into my brown eyes & you'll see my love.
You took care of me Mom, let me take care of you...
Loving you forever, your fur baby,
Fudge <3
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.fightingheadachedisorders.com
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Migraine Awareness Month #24: "Dear Genie."
Put together a wish list for your life.
1. Be happy! No matter what happens in my life I want to remain as happy as can be. Stay positive, keep up the hope, Go With The Flow, "Be Here Now".
2. Be there for my family as much as I can. Try to make it to get togethers, crochet them things on time, & don't smother them with all my problems. Most of all I want to enjoy as much time w/ them as I can!
3. Try not to complain, or whine. I don't ever want to be one of those annoying people others can't stand. So venting is allowed, but no more "Why me" blah, blah, blah...
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help! I NEVER DO!!!
5. When people ask me how I am, I'm not going to say ok. I hardly ever tell people how I TRULY FEEL. I'm obviously not OK.
6. Maybe find some way to manage my pain better? I know after so long w/ out a treatment that works, there's little hope to find one. But I'm betting sometime, somehow, somewhere one will make its way to me.
7. Don't let the small things in life bother me. I get so wrapped up in insignificant crap. For lack of a better word... (I can't & won't say what I really want too.) If I need a down day to relax, or incapacitated w/ pain, it's OK. Life still goes on... There's always tomorrow! Another reason to be happy & enjoy my life.
8. Try my hardest to embrace my life. This is me, pain & all. Look in the mirror Kate and say out loud, "I have Chronic Headaches, I have Fibromyalgia, I'm disabled, CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE". Yes, this is literally written on my mirror. I can't face it yet. I am even having a hard time writing this. But, someday I'll be able to accept this life I've been handed.
9. Hobbies. I know this may sound dumb, but I want to do more of my hobbies. Reading, crocheting, blogging, writing, & being out doors. I live on a small lake w/ awesome neighbors & I need to take advantage of it more. Stop being a hermit!!! Also, I'd love to learn to sew, quilt, and explore more of the Knook. (Knitting & crocheting combined)
10. Last but not least, have a child...
*hugs* to all!
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
1. Be happy! No matter what happens in my life I want to remain as happy as can be. Stay positive, keep up the hope, Go With The Flow, "Be Here Now".
2. Be there for my family as much as I can. Try to make it to get togethers, crochet them things on time, & don't smother them with all my problems. Most of all I want to enjoy as much time w/ them as I can!
3. Try not to complain, or whine. I don't ever want to be one of those annoying people others can't stand. So venting is allowed, but no more "Why me" blah, blah, blah...
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help! I NEVER DO!!!
5. When people ask me how I am, I'm not going to say ok. I hardly ever tell people how I TRULY FEEL. I'm obviously not OK.
6. Maybe find some way to manage my pain better? I know after so long w/ out a treatment that works, there's little hope to find one. But I'm betting sometime, somehow, somewhere one will make its way to me.
7. Don't let the small things in life bother me. I get so wrapped up in insignificant crap. For lack of a better word... (I can't & won't say what I really want too.) If I need a down day to relax, or incapacitated w/ pain, it's OK. Life still goes on... There's always tomorrow! Another reason to be happy & enjoy my life.
8. Try my hardest to embrace my life. This is me, pain & all. Look in the mirror Kate and say out loud, "I have Chronic Headaches, I have Fibromyalgia, I'm disabled, CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE". Yes, this is literally written on my mirror. I can't face it yet. I am even having a hard time writing this. But, someday I'll be able to accept this life I've been handed.
9. Hobbies. I know this may sound dumb, but I want to do more of my hobbies. Reading, crocheting, blogging, writing, & being out doors. I live on a small lake w/ awesome neighbors & I need to take advantage of it more. Stop being a hermit!!! Also, I'd love to learn to sew, quilt, and explore more of the Knook. (Knitting & crocheting combined)
10. Last but not least, have a child...
*hugs* to all!
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
Migraine Awareness Month #23 "I Drank the Kool-Aid!"
We all try things out of desperation, even when our common sense is telling us they're not going to do anything. Share your experience with this.
I've been kind of waiting for this one... I don't think there isn't anything out there I haven't tried, & have miserably failed at!!
Medications: There has been over 80 prescriptions in these past 5 1/2 years. All either abortives, preventatives, pain killers, & steroids. Also not including physical therapy, a spinal tap, 2MRI's, a C.T Scan, 3 Occipital Nerve Blocks, multiple blood draws, & morphine injections when the pain wouldn't cease.
Diets: Gluten free. (Which stunk immensely because I LOVE my carbs!!!)
Migraine Diet. Which is no processed meats, no certain fruits, etc. (That didn't work either, duh!)
Holistic: Tried suggested herbs like Feverfew, & Kudzu. Herbal teas, Tea Tree Oil, Lavender... Nope, no help there!!!
I'm thinking that pretty much covers it all. There's probably more... Tee-hee!!!
*Hugs to all*
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
I've been kind of waiting for this one... I don't think there isn't anything out there I haven't tried, & have miserably failed at!!
Medications: There has been over 80 prescriptions in these past 5 1/2 years. All either abortives, preventatives, pain killers, & steroids. Also not including physical therapy, a spinal tap, 2MRI's, a C.T Scan, 3 Occipital Nerve Blocks, multiple blood draws, & morphine injections when the pain wouldn't cease.
Diets: Gluten free. (Which stunk immensely because I LOVE my carbs!!!)
Migraine Diet. Which is no processed meats, no certain fruits, etc. (That didn't work either, duh!)
Holistic: Tried suggested herbs like Feverfew, & Kudzu. Herbal teas, Tea Tree Oil, Lavender... Nope, no help there!!!
I'm thinking that pretty much covers it all. There's probably more... Tee-hee!!!
*Hugs to all*
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Migraine Awareness Month #22: "The Game Changer."
Tell us about a time your plans changed due either an unexpected Migraine or an unexpected Migraine-free experience.
Today is another "anniversary" for me of sorts. Today marks 3yrs of pain. Pain that happens EVERYDAY! So I'm not going to sit here & complain. Whine on & on about what it's been like. (I think we already know) So all I'm going to do is embrace this day. This is who I am, regardless if I like it or not.
What I am going to do with this post is to say Thank You. Thank you to my husband, Mom & Dad for always being there for me. Always lending a helping hand when I need it. Especially, even when I don't ask for it too. You all have been my backbone, my rocks. Leading me through this journey & I couldn't have done it w/ out you!
Thank You to all my extended family members for believing in me. Always there to lend a helping hand, or comfort.
Thank You to all my friends on Facebook & Twitter for all your guidance, comfort & not minding me when I need to complain.
Last, but not least, Thank You to all of you who read my blog & letting me share a little slice of my world with you. I appreciate all the comments, and followers. I originally started doing this to vent. However now I know you all enjoy it, makes me want to post more.
Thanks again for all your love & support!
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
Today is another "anniversary" for me of sorts. Today marks 3yrs of pain. Pain that happens EVERYDAY! So I'm not going to sit here & complain. Whine on & on about what it's been like. (I think we already know) So all I'm going to do is embrace this day. This is who I am, regardless if I like it or not.
What I am going to do with this post is to say Thank You. Thank you to my husband, Mom & Dad for always being there for me. Always lending a helping hand when I need it. Especially, even when I don't ask for it too. You all have been my backbone, my rocks. Leading me through this journey & I couldn't have done it w/ out you!
Thank You to all my extended family members for believing in me. Always there to lend a helping hand, or comfort.
Thank You to all my friends on Facebook & Twitter for all your guidance, comfort & not minding me when I need to complain.
Last, but not least, Thank You to all of you who read my blog & letting me share a little slice of my world with you. I appreciate all the comments, and followers. I originally started doing this to vent. However now I know you all enjoy it, makes me want to post more.
Thanks again for all your love & support!
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Migraine Awareness Month #21: "Shaking in My Boots."
What's your biggest Migraine related fear. How do you cope with it?
My biggest fear is every single day of my life. I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I never know when or where I'll be, when the pain stricks me. I live in the fear that I'll be incapacitated w/ pain out in public. I'm afraid I'll get woken up by the demon in my slumber. Basically, I live in fear every single waking moment of my life. That's just the Clusters. Add in the Daily Chronic Headache, Chronic Tension, a dab of Trigeminal Nueralgia, Migraines & of course Fibromyalgia... Happy fun times!! OH YEAH! Don't forget the horrible depression I'm battling. All together we have a joyous concoction. Man, I love sarcasm...
How I cope? Not thinking. I try not to think of the demonic beings dwelling w/ in me. But it's unbearably hard not too. So my mantra in life is, "Go with the Flow". (Right Diane?!) I'm here for a reason, plagued w/ these issues. So why not just enjoy the time I feel "OK ". Life is made to be lived to the fullest right?
★Hugs to all★
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com."
My biggest fear is every single day of my life. I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I never know when or where I'll be, when the pain stricks me. I live in the fear that I'll be incapacitated w/ pain out in public. I'm afraid I'll get woken up by the demon in my slumber. Basically, I live in fear every single waking moment of my life. That's just the Clusters. Add in the Daily Chronic Headache, Chronic Tension, a dab of Trigeminal Nueralgia, Migraines & of course Fibromyalgia... Happy fun times!! OH YEAH! Don't forget the horrible depression I'm battling. All together we have a joyous concoction. Man, I love sarcasm...
How I cope? Not thinking. I try not to think of the demonic beings dwelling w/ in me. But it's unbearably hard not too. So my mantra in life is, "Go with the Flow". (Right Diane?!) I'm here for a reason, plagued w/ these issues. So why not just enjoy the time I feel "OK ". Life is made to be lived to the fullest right?
★Hugs to all★
K8 =]
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com."
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Migraine Awareness Month #20: "Run, Forrest, Run!"
Describe the approach you think is best when it's time to more on to a new doctor.
One simple word...Honesty!
If you aren't happy with the physician you are seeing, then tell them why they aren't suiting your needs. You are you best advocate & should NEVER have to stay w/ a doctor who isn't helping you. Believe me, I've been through plenty of "Here take this drug & I'll see you in 6 weeks", type of doctor. Or my favorite "You have so many headache types, I just don't know where to start, & what to treat". Obviously, he's right on that aspect. But he wasn't right for ME.
Stand up for yourself! Don't take any crap. If you aren't happy, tell him/ her why! But calmly & honestly. You don't need to put up with someone who isn't compassionate, isn't helpful, doesn't return phone calls, or just doesn't understand you.
Take the time & explain why you're unhappy. Who knows it might benefit the way that doctor treats his or her next patient next time.
★Hugs★ to all & "Be here now"
K8
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
One simple word...Honesty!
If you aren't happy with the physician you are seeing, then tell them why they aren't suiting your needs. You are you best advocate & should NEVER have to stay w/ a doctor who isn't helping you. Believe me, I've been through plenty of "Here take this drug & I'll see you in 6 weeks", type of doctor. Or my favorite "You have so many headache types, I just don't know where to start, & what to treat". Obviously, he's right on that aspect. But he wasn't right for ME.
Stand up for yourself! Don't take any crap. If you aren't happy, tell him/ her why! But calmly & honestly. You don't need to put up with someone who isn't compassionate, isn't helpful, doesn't return phone calls, or just doesn't understand you.
Take the time & explain why you're unhappy. Who knows it might benefit the way that doctor treats his or her next patient next time.
★Hugs★ to all & "Be here now"
K8
National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation. The Blogger's Challenge is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
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